Welcome to Hogwarts
by star estrella
Summary: three girls give peeves a run for his money. features golf carts and angry teachers. first fic r&r flames welcomed.


Hey guys! I decided to rewrite this story seeing as my writing before sucked! I hope you like it better now! Remember to review! I also accept constructive criticism. Any flamers, be afraid. smirks evilly

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except my characters and my customized golf carts (one of which I stole from Kati) Mwahahahaha! Eat that Kati! ;)

Welcome to Hogwarts 

By: star estrella

Chapter one: Kati's Golf cart 

"Do you think they're still there?" A young woman asked tensely, while straining her neck to look out the window.

The girls sitting across the booth of a small locally owned diner exchanged exasperated glances. Would the torture _never _stop? She had asked that same question three times since they had come in, and had made them sit at a window over looking they're parking spots. The older looking of the three replied sarcastically, "No, someone happened to get past the state of the art security system you saved **six years **of babysitting money to get, and happened to slip out of the parking lot undetected by the moron sitting across from me!"

"You really think so?" The first girl inquired, staring with wide fearful eyes at her sisters across from her. Her sisters, Melanie, who had made the sarcastic remark, and sixteen year old Elizabeth smacked their heads and groaned in frustration.

"Let's get out of here, Kati," The latter of the two said to the girl peering out the window, I mean _was_ looking out the window. For the girl had spotted an elderly man whose dog was sniffing the tire of her golf cart and was now running out of the diner to 'save her baby.' Her sisters raced out after her with amazing speed. "Kati, don't!" Elizabeth yelled although it was in vain.

The dog had gotten too close to the car- I mean cart and had set off the alarm. First the car gave off a series of noises that sounded much like a foghorn, making the dog jump back in surprise and terror. After a few seconds of that the cart started saying things like, "Back off mofo!" and "Spare your life, get away from me!"

Kati ran up to the owner of the dog who was by now cringing from the obscenities the car was giving off. "Get away! Don't touch my cart! Do you want a black eye? Huh?" she yelled in his face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure Duke didn't mean any trouble!" The man said feebly.

"Really? Now I see what this is, it's all a decoy to distract me while the real thieves take my baby! Isn't it!" She said while she looked suspiciously at someone crossing the street.

By now, as I'm sure you can imagine he was completely and utterly confused. But, luckily for the poor harassed man Melanie came to his rescue. She grabbed the overactive teen by the ear and dragged her to the golf cart. "Get in the car **now**!" she said angrily.

After apologizing profusely to the man the twenty-two year old graduate got in her green cart and backed out of her space muttering angrily to her self.

They set off speeding down the highway (well, you have to think, 65 mph is pretty fast for a golf cart!) into the horizon, with Elizabeth's stereo booming in her blue cart.

They were discussing over their walkie-talkies where they should stay for the night when one of the straps holding Melanie's bag broke and the bag fell off the roof of her cart and onto the asphalt road.

Everyone pulled off the road to collect the bag and it's contents, which had spilled all over the road and ditch beside it. Melanie found this the perfect time to give her sisters a pep talk.

She swept her chocolate brown hair into a ponytail and took her sunglasses covering her brown eyes off. "Where are we?" She said enthusiastically.

"In northern Scotland." Was the monotone response.

"That's right!" Melanie said, "And why are we here?"

"To find a place to set up your bed and breakfast." Said the two standing next to each other.

"What kind of place?"

"A romantic one"

"If they want romance throw them in a well together. Then they can die in each other's arms." Kati said.

"Yes, Miss Sadistic, But how would I make money off of that?" Melanie smirked.

"Simple," Liz said. "You rob them when they're dead." She exchanged evil smirks with Kati. She had to look down to do this though because she was easily five inches taller than her eighteen-year-old sister who was 5'1''.

Melanie rolled her eyes and got back in her cart. Twenty minutes later they were passing by a large gloomy looking forest. "Look!" Kati said. "There's a road to the right." They turned onto the road going into the forest a few seconds later. They turned on they're headlights because the trees blocked most of the sunlight.

After quite a while in the forest they finally saw the end of the trees. They came into the sunlight and had to close they're eyes because of the light change. When they're eyes finally came into focus the first thing they saw was a grand castle.

The three of them gasped in shock. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Melanie said.

"Oh yeah! This is the place!"

"Beautiful building, extensive grounds what more could you want? Perfect place for my business!"

"But this castle must be a historical reserve. I mean, look at it. Castles don't stay in this good of shape on their own." Liz said skeptically.

"Nope." Melanie said. "I have a list of all the historical sites in this booklet." She rummaged through her glove box and finally found a pamphlet. "In case we went past one." She answered the unasked question.

Kati was rocking on the balls of her feet impatiently. "Come on! Let's go check it out." She said eagerly. "Beat ya up there." And with that she raced ahead of the others.

They got up to the castle and parked they're carts beside. (Kati made sure hers was locked securely) Kati raced up the stairs leading to the huge double doors that practically screamed 'Entrance!' She tugged on the handle of the nearest one and opened it.

They slowly walked into the entrance hall. It seemed more monstrously big than ever (which was a hard thing to do.) The walls and floors were all stone and there where torches hanging on the walls. In front of them was a staircase twice as wide as stairs usually are. "It looks so midevel." Kati said, examining the torches. "Ooooh! Fire!" Kati was a little bit Piro. She always carried a lighter in her purse even though she didn't need it in any way. When she was younger she burned a hole in her carpet with a candle. (A/N my sister Kati actually did do that, but we still love her!)

Kati plucked one of the torches from their brackets and walked up the steps, with her sisters trailing behind her. She opened the door at the top of the stairs and peered in. "Wow!" She breathed. She opened the door wider and walked into the enormous hall in the huge castle with the extensive grounds with a big forest beside it. Basically everything about the castle was big.

In the hall there were five tables. Four of them looked like they could seat about fifty people. The smaller one was on a small stone platform. Looking up you could see rafters and- the sky? Did it not have a roof? There were several doors. One of which they had come in. Another door led to a small room with a fireplace, and another lead into a hall. They decided to use this door.

In the hall there were four hourglasses about three feet in height. One held rubies, another emeralds. The others held sapphires, and an unrecognizable yellow stone. There were many suits of armor and you guessed it, another staircase.

They headed up the staircase into a corridor. They could hear faint voices coming from down the hall. The further they walked the clearer they got. They were coming from behind a door.

"Look in Kati." Melanie said.

Kati approached the door and slowly turned the handle. She cracked open every so slightly and looked inside. She let out a gasp of horror and closed the door a bit louder than necessary.

"What was it?" Liz said. Worry was written all over her face.

Kati was sitting on the floor rocking back and forth muttering incoherently to herself by now. "The boys," She said, getting up. "They were wearing dresses."

"I f you tried to scare us it's not working." Melanie said impatiently. "Liz and I are going to look. And if your messing with us, you're going to pay."

Liz and Mel looked in the door by then everyone in the room was looking towards the door with interest. The two of them leapt back and slammed the door. "They're all cross-dressers!" Liz cried.

Melanie grabbed their arms and pulled them into a broom closet. "Obviously," She said. "Someone runs some kind of business here. We need to get rid of them. We need a plan." They put their heads together and thought of one.

Half an hour later Liz and Mel walked into the room full of 'cross-dressers' again with a chalkboard. They looked very professional. Liz's light brown hair was twisted into a bun and was wearing a blue suit that matched her eyes. Melanie was wearing a black suit.

"Your attention please!" Elizabeth said, although it was unnecessary because it's not everyday people interrupt a class. "We have a special treat for you today! My name is Stacy Pallor and this is my assistant Haley Jansen. From the island of Itsa Lotta Caca we have the telepathic Jade Kashen. Let's give her a big round of applause!"

Kati came running into the room with a long black wig on along with a black plastic top hat and one of those glasses/nose with hair coming out of it. She had a beach shirt on and a grassskirt with jeans on under it.

"Thank you for inviting me here today!" She said, and then sat down on a nearby chair.

"Now we're going to blindfold her eyes and her brain." Liz announced while she fastened a black scarf over Kati's eyes. Melanie then handed her a diaper. She put diaper on Kati's head and then put the hat back on. "Now that we have both cells covered we can begin!"

"First, my lovely assistant will write a number on the chalkboard and Jade will tell us what it is." Liz said. Melanie wrote a six on the board.

"Five!" Kati said. Liz hit her on the head with a pointer. "Six!"

"That's correct isn't it amazing?" Liz exclaimed. Mel wrote a one on the board this time.

"Um, one." Kati said hesitantly.

"That is once again correct! Now I will we need a volunteer." Nobody raised their hand. Liz went up to McGonagall and put her hand on her shoulder. "Thank you for volunteering." She said. McGonagall looked like she could spit nails.

"In my hand I have something old and wrinkly." Liz said. McGonagall looked over at her. She looked like she was going to strangle Liz.

"A date!" Kati said.

Liz held one of her hands up, showing a date. "Yes. She's a genius!"

Kati stood up and did a little victory dance. She took her blindfolds and said to everyone, "The genius has to go. Toodles!" and ran out.

"Thank you for volunteering. I would like to give you a gift." Melanie told the Professor and then put a straw up to her mouth and blew a spit wad at McGonagall's face. "Chow!"

Liz calmly walked out the door after pushing over one of the students in her way. Once outside the room they ran out to their golf carts laughing.


End file.
